Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
