Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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