I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
