everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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