I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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