sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Shame is for Republicans.
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