I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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