They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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