Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
