Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
