Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
