hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
