i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
