Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
