i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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