I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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