I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
