i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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