Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
