i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize