So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
