did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
