Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
