things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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