I accidentally had phone sex last night
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
