oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
