i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
