the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
