my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
