Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
