so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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