Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize