i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
