In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
