I wish i was in the wii world.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
