is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
