your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
