HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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