I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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