i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
