That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize