im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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