Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
