SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't want my vagina anymore.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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