What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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