She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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