If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
