ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
