the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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