Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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