hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have tasted many bathrooms
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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