1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
