So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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