she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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