i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
