so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
